Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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