as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's never too late to be topless.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
