Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
