I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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