We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
