Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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