turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
