Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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