Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
