So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize