I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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