what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
