well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
