Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
