It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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