guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
