A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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