I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You ruined the universe
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
