Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
