Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
