please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
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you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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