you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
