Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
