You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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