And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
