so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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