i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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