the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Drunk is not a location!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
