Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
