My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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