your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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