I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize