First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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