Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my liver is dry heaving
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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