In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
