I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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