When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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