you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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