im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I could fuck to npr.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
