He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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