when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
