I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
