I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
