I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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