I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize