There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
