He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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