HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
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