hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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