You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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