my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
