she was so not down for the gang bang
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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