idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
