Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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