There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
