Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
