um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
