is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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