I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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