the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
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Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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