I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
