I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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