Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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