two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
