Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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