i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
