Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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