He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
