Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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